Relationship Rules

BRUNETTES HAVE MORE FUN

Baltimore, MD - Until recently, Americans long believed that blondes have more fun than brunettes and redheads combined, but a recent study conducted by researchers at the world-renown Johns Hopkins University Hospital in Baltimore, MD has disproved this long-held belief.

It was difficult, says Dr. Johns Hopkins, to identify the parameters of the study, including the definitions of some of the key terms associated with the research. “For example,” he said, offering an example, “what is ‘fun’? One person’s idea as to what constitutes fun is apt to differ from another person’s, just as the understanding of this concept is likely to differ among blondes, brunettes, and redheads and, for that matter, males and females.”

Since the study concerns women, rather than men, males’ concepts of fun were dismissed as researchers surveyed 1,000 blonde women, 1,000 brunette women, and 1,000 redheaded women. The results were tabulated, and the scientists concluded that fun, for women in general, regardless of hair color and intelligence quotient, consists of three types of activities, ranked in order from “most fun” to “least fun” as follows:

Shopping
Gossiping
Having sex.

With these parameters set and the term “fun” defined accordingly, the researchers gave 10 blondes, 10 brunettes, and 10 redheads $10,000 each of hard-earned taxpayers’ money that the federal government had previously confiscated from them upon the threat of fines and/or imprisonment for failure to comply with the Infernal Revenue Service’s (IRS's) shakedowns.

The women spent varying amounts of the cash on shopping, gossiping, and having sex, with brunettes spending more of their money on shopping, redheads on gossiping (as measured by the dollars they spent on various tabloids and celebrity magazines), and blondes on so-called marital aids, or sex toys, especially how-to manuals.

At the American Psychological Association’s Annual Convention on Annoying Human Behavior, the researchers presented their findings in the form of a chart that shows the three groups’ relative spending on the three areas of interest.

Source
P. Niss "Blondes DO have more fun--or do they?". Peroxide Blondes, December 22, 2006

DUCK, DUCK, BUSH.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

PINK IS MY KINDA RED HOT

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The dark shadows of night exist as a new morning emerges. A complete peaceful stillness settles over the landscape. The sparkle of an early morning fog rises transparent through the beams of golden shaves of morning sunlight. The brilliant pallet of the fall tree colors unfold its picturesque scenery, soulfully you stand in silence.

The air is new and the sweetness rises from the freshly frosted earth, and falls from the brilliant clear blue sky. The cool brisk morning air skims your hair, swirls around your face while your skin absorbs the freshness. Breathing in the fresh crisp air as it deeply fills you up with a renewal, a comfort, and thankfulness.

A sudden song from above introduces the morning. The early bird, perfectly in tune and the wind shall orchestrate that which falls to my ears. -T.

Bush has entered into his own midnight period, and it promises to be a dark time indeed.
Now, of course, Bush has entered into his own midnight period, and it promises to be a dark time indeed. Among the many new regulations - or, rather, deregulations - the Administration has proposed are rules that would: make it harder for the government to limit workers' exposure to toxins, eliminate environmental review from decisions affecting fisheries, and ease restrictions on companies that blow up mountains to get at the coal underneath them. Other midnight regulations in the works include rules to allow "factory farms" to ignore the Clean Water Act, rules making it tougher for employees to take family or medical leave, and rules that would effectively gut the Endangered Species Act. Most regulations are subject to public input; such is the sense of urgency that the Administration has brought to the task of despoliation that the Interior Department completed its "review" of two hundred thousand public comments on the endangered-species rules in just four days, a feat that, one congressional aide calculated, required each staff member involved to read through comments at the rate of seven per minute. "So little time, so much damage" is how the Times recently put it.

Rolling Stone Magazine Names Aretha Franklin Greatest Singer of All Time

GREATEST SINGER OF ALL TIME - ARETHA FRANKLIN