Wednesday, September 23, 2015

None of my family is attending my Same-Sex Wedding

Our Wedding is October 3rd and none of my family is attending. 

When I sent the invitations out I set my expectations low, so as not to be disappointed, however, I never expected this. My fiancé has received many more yes rsvp's than no's. She keeps reminding me that her family will soon be my family when we marry, but somehow that doesn't make me feel a whole lot better.

I feel crushed. Utterly and completely crushed. Am I that big a loser? What did I EVER do to deserve this?

We just went to a family reunion for my family. Everyone was nice and all smiles and hugs. Not many spoke to my fiancé, but they all hugged her when I introduced her and when we said our goodbyes. I don't get it. I remember how odd it sounded when my Uncle said numerous times, "I don't know WHEN I will see any of you again". You know, everyone getting older, moving away, etc. But I kept thinking each time he said it that he would see a lot of us at my wedding. I just never really thought they would all rsvp no. Never in my wildest nightmare would I expect no one from "my side" to come.

No one has even expressed why, other than my sister, who is younger than I who told me the 2 hour drive was too far. I single-handedly catered her wedding 20 years ago...And she can't drive 2 hours?

If anyone were to say it was because of their religion, I would respond that it's not about anyone's's about my's about supporting your family. Do any of them realize what it's going to look like and more importantly, FEEL LIKE when my adult children walk me down the aisle? We will not see any of our family. (My adult children are special needs and I honestly don't even know how to tell them, and more importantly, how can I possibly hide my feelings so I don't somehow trigger their illness?)

To my family who have chosen the cruelest way possible to express their opinion, their judgement of gay weddings...of my gay wedding...God is the only judge! 

I've gone thru a hell of a lot up until this point and I really don't think I deserve this. I can't even count how many times someone had told me 'God won't give you more than you can handle'. 

This is my wedding...our wedding, I should be grinning from ear to ear, jumping up and down excited, walking on cloud nine, but instead...I'm crying, sad...crushed to this really happening?