Thursday, April 30, 2009

Throwback Generation?

Pepsi Throwback? Seriously? That was the best name they could come up with? And it has "natural sugar", as apposed to what? Unnatural sugar? I mean, I get it, they're not using high fructose corn syrup.

Have you seen these in the stores in your area?
I haven't seen them yet.

Have you tried them?

©2008-2009 Fire Crotch Rocket

A Different Kind Of Party

I admit to being somewhat addicted to certain magazines. I have to have "The Advocate", that’s a given. But I also have to have "Psychology Today". I also will admit, only in certain company, to an addiction to women’s magazines. You know the ones, "Redbook", "Women’s Day". Not so much a fan of "Better Homes & Gardens", but in a pinch at a doctor’s office, I’ll pick it up. Even if it is 3 years old. What can I say, I’m a captive audience. I'm addicted to the women's magazines for recipes and articles on organization. (That's a whole different blog post topic!)

Some magazines I’ll read the hardcopy, others I’ll read online, some both. See what I’m saying about addiction? Anyway, I was scanning the articles at "Psychology Today", and found this article "Parlor Game Or Psychiatric Technique? – Lipsology".

The article described Lipsology as "the discovery of psychological characteristics revealed through lip shapes as viewed on a paper kissed by a person wearing lipstick (or having kissed a person wearing lipstick). The resulting imprints, given names such as "gerbil balls" "angel wings" "mother nature's lines" "peppers" and "zingers" are supposed to indicate a wide variety of information, health, psychological predispositions, even some spiritual interventions ( such as having an angel on your right or left shoulder)."

This isn’t a paid post, and I’m not joking. Apparently people have parties to have personal analysis’ done. Kind of like having a Palm Reader come to your home for a party to do palm readings.

I wanted to know more, so I googled, "Lipsology" and found The Official Lipsology Website. The tagline on the website is "Lipsology – The Art Of Lip Print Reading By Jilly Eddy." Apparently she is an "expert in lip print interpretation".

Who knew one could be an expert in interpreting something that my Mother did after applying lipstick and tossed in the trash? (Blotting freshly lipsticked lips with tissue.)
Ms. Eddy is "the world’s first Lipsologist". Ms. Eddy is a "Seattle-based entertainer who fascinates audiences of all ages with her remarkably precise personality profiles based on her self-developed system of Lipsology—The Art & Science of Reading Lip Prints." Ms. Eddy "has spent nearly 30 years collecting and analyzing more than 10,000 lip prints including those of Johnny Cash and author Jean Auel."

Ms. Eddy actually books events and brings her own supplies, which include "lipsticks, mirrors, Kleenex, cold cream, pens and personalized 'Kiss Cards' for your guests to make their lip prints on and keep as a souvenir." Because, you know you want a souvenir.

What will you find out from her analysis? Ms. Eddy "analyzes and interprets according to 25 categories and more than 100 subcategories. Findings can determine anything from the fact that you are a great negotiator with high-end champagne tastes or perhaps that you need to pay special attention to certain health issues."

In case you’re wondering, she does lip imprint analysis at all sorts of events, including, but not limited to: Anniversary Parties, Baby/Bridal Showers, Bachelorette Parties, Bar & Bat & B’nai Mitzvahs, Barbeques, Birthdays Parties, Business Launches/Staff Meetings, Conferences, Conventions, Employee Parties/Picnics, Girl’s Night Out, Housewarmings, Weddings.

Sounds slightly more entertaining than a Palm or Tarot Reading.

What do you think?

©2008-2009 Fire Crotch Rocket

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Looking For The Ultimate Smoking Jacket?

Does anyone even know what a Smoking Jacket is anymore? I mean, when was the last time you saw one? Sure, Hugh Hefner sports one. When have you NOT seen him in a Smoking Jacket? Back in the day, Dean Martin, Cary Grant, Fred Astaire and Frank Sinatra all sported them. Did you know that Fred Astaire was buried in his Smoking Jacket?

If you fancy a Smoking Jacket, halloween costume type ones are available. Some of them look very cheesy. But if you really want a Smoking Jacket that isn’t a cheap halloween costume and like bargains, check out Hilleso & Company Designs – Deluxe Smoking Jacket, currently on sale at $199.

If you fancy a truly luxurious Smoking Jacket, and can afford to drop a serious chunk of change, check out Brooks Brothers Cotton Velvet Striped Smoking Jacket, $998.

You can even purchase a Cordurounds Reversible Smoking Jacket. Yes! It's reversible. Check out their video:

Black Reversible Smoking Jacket.

A very ambitious blogger even made a Smoking Jacket for her husband.
Fisticuffs Versus The Guards – The Smoking Jacket
. If you’re inclined to sew one for your spouse, you can get a vintage pattern at Etsy – Stylehive Store – Smoking Jacket pattern 9230.

I sew, but I don't know if I'm ambitious enough to take on a Smoking Jacket. I mean, if I'm sewing it for myself, that kind of defeats the whole calm and relaxation mystic. I've sewn ambitious projects before. Back in the 70's I made a lined hat which if I had to describe was a large tam with a visor. A jumbo 70's newsboy hat, if you will. I've also made vests and skirts. I'm not without skills, however a lined Smoking Jacket is very ambitious and it's been ages since I've sewn anything more complex than say...a pillow.

I think I could “rock” a Smoking Jacket. I mean, a delicate flowered robe just isn’t me. A Smoking Jacket, I would make me look all relaxed and worldly. And I would definitely look like a dyke, because a traditional Smoking Jacket is very butch looking and not at all femme (though I have seen many flowery Smoking Jackets). I think Anastasia could definitely "rock" a flowery Smoking Jacket, though even though she is a smoker, she is always warm, so I doubt she'd wear one.

So what do you think? Do you buy into the Smoking Jacket mystic?

Be sure to check out today's posts on my other blogs:
Lola's Diner
Lola's Victory Garden
©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Monday, April 27, 2009

Chicago Area Blogger Meet-up - A Fly On The Wall...

Many of you may have noticed Patricia @ Subjective Soup logo that was on my sidebar. Patricia also has a blog called Communication Exchange. Sunday, April 26th we held a blogger meet-up in Aurora. For photos, be sure to check out my other blog, Lola's Diner and Patrica's site, Communication Exchange.

I think we all had a really good time. I can truly only speak for myself and I can say that I had a great time and I can't wait to get together again. Is next weekend too soon? It was so much fun hearing how my fellow bloggers came up with their blog names and about some of the things they blog about. We also talked about quite a few different topics within blogging.

Here are just a few of the topics covered:
We commiserated about how our families feel about our blogging habits. I don't think I'm alone when I say that some of our family members feel we are addicted. There are a whole lotta worse things to be addicted to. Gambling, Heroin, crack, porn, Manolo blahniks, Converse.
(these are "Grateful Dead" Converse. My nod to Cardiogirl who, can I say it?, is addicted to Converse.) Ok, an addiction to Converse isn't that bad, in fact since googling the site, I am now jonesing for a pair of these Grateful Dead Converse. I am currently humming "The Girl From Ipanema" as the site suggested, while I wait to see what patterns they have in my size. No, I'm not joking, here is a screenshot:

We talked about the debacles that are currently Entrecard and The consensus was pretty much that we all hope they are able to manage their current difficulties, deal with blogger concerns and provide the good experiences that bloggers have been accustomed to.

We talked about paid ads and how it can be quite hilarious when some bloggers whose first language is not english write about products that they don't exactly grasp the concept of what they are used for, or make up elaborate stories about how they found a need for said product.

We talked about stats. My post on google page rank came up. If you haven't checked your google page rank, check out my post Google Page Rank Happy Dance to find out how. (You can also spy your bloggy friend's rank by typing in their blog url.)

We talked about keywords. Keywords are the searchable "labels" you put in "Labels for this post:" box in your blog post. (At least that's the way it works in Blogger, Wordpress may call it something different.) Keywords help other people going on google and yahoo do searches.

We talked about Stat Counters. Stat Counters can give you all sorts of information if you are a statistic freak like me. You can find out:
Keyword Search Words - Mine for this month, so far are:
"What to give your daughter for her 16th birthday."
"on my lady parts." (Which begs the question, who is looking up about my ladyparts on google?)
If you want your own Stat Counter, you can click on mine and create your own.

Recent Came From - Where your visitors came from, a link from another blog, typing in the url themselves or a freaky google search about my ladyparts.
Visitor Paths - This one is for stalker wannabes, if you want to know where your visitors came from. However, don't get scared, the location listed is the location of your internet service provider (ISP). In my case, I believe my location shows as Schaumburg, IL because my ISP is AT&T. Hint: You won't find me in Schaumburg.
Visit Length - This tells you how long your visitors stay on your blog. This isn't necessarily accurate, because as one of the bloggers mentioned, she does folds laundry while blogging and sometimes steps away from her computer for a considerable amount of time when a load is ready to be folded.
Exit Links and Exit Link Activity - Let you know where a blogger went after visiting your page. Here you'll find out if they clicked on something in your archives, clicked on ad, or clicked on your blogroll.

Oh, one more thing. I am hanging my head in shame and embarrassment. SUPREME embarrassment! One of the bloggers mentioned a proclivity for decorating stuffed animals in costumes/clothing, similar to build-a-bear. I thought she said squirrels, but I was wrong. Apparently it was beavers. I guess my error was a good thing because I would likely be in serious trouble with the Mrs's if I googled "beavers in costume". One can only imagine the images one would find had I googled that.

I'll be hiding in shame back in the kitchen.


©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Stealing Saturday

Here’s a Stolen Saturday idea that I got from Patricia @ Subjective Soup. You might want to try this yourself because it might just give you a whole new perspective on yourself! Here are my responses:

Your rock star name (first pet, current car): Max Pilot

Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Pistachio Topsider

Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal): Purple Cat

Your soap opera name (middle name, city of your birth): Anne Milwaukee

Your Star Wars name (first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Beclo

Your Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Blue Coffee

Your NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers): Pietro Paul

Your Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Polo Charleston Chew

Your TV Weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with same letter): Svacini San Diego

Your Spy name (your favorite season/holiday flower): Fall Mistletoe

Your Cartoon name (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Watermelon Loungepants

Your Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Bagel Willow

Your Movie (or porn) star name (most recent pet, first street where you lived): Sophie Lindenwood

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Friday, April 24, 2009



Time For A Party Game!
"Disco Paragraph" - Fill In The Blanks
After a long week working as an assistant trainer at the Jane Fonda Exercise Studio I was ready for a night out. I went to my closet, put on my ________ and headed out the door. I stopped to pick-up my friend ________ and we headed to Studio 54. This place was packed! I had just about sweated my ________ off when they turned on the lights and told us it was time to boogie home. Another great night. Can you dig it? :->
*Fill in the blanks by following the charts. If the First Letter of your FIRST name begins with an 'A' then fill in with "Polyester Suit", etc.
First blank/First Letter of your FIRST name:
A - E = Polyester
F -
J = Hot Pants
K - P = Platform Shoes
Q - U = Roller
V - Z =
Tube Top
Second blank, go by the First Letter of your LAST name. A - E will be Bob Mackie.
Second blank/First Letter of your LAST name:
A - E = Bob Mackie
F - J =
Deney Terrio
K - P = Jimmy J.J. Walker
Q - U = K.C. & The
V - Z = Liza Minnelli
Third blank, go by the First Letter of your FIRST name.
Third blank/First Letter of your FIRST name:
A - E = Glitter
F - J =
K - P = Blue Eye Shadow
Q - U = QT Tanning
V - Z = Sequined Headband
After a long week working as an assistant trainer at the Jane Fonda Exercise Studio I was ready for a night out. I went to my closet, put on my _platform shoes_ and headed out the door. I stopped to pick-up my friend _Bob Mackie_ and we headed to Studio 54. This place was packed! I had just about sweated my _glitter_ off when they turned on the lights and told us it was time to boogie home. Another great night. Can you dig it? :->
Have fun!! I can't wait to see what you get to wear to Studio 54.
Thank you for stopping by for VGNO!
If you like what you see, please consider becoming a follower.
Also, please be sure to check out my contest at Lola's Victory Garden.
©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Do You Twitter? Do You Twitterfeed Your Blog?

If you have a blog and use twitter, did you know that you can automatically have your individual blog post urls fed into twitter? You set it up one time and you're done. Twitterfeed automatically converts each blog post url into a tiny url and tweets it for you. Simply go to Register for an account, and follow the directions. You can set up feeds for all your blogs.

Why do it? Because you can gain traffic.

Happy tweeting!

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Monday, April 20, 2009

Google Page Rank Happy Dance

I'm doing the Google Page Rank happy dance! Lola's Diner went from a Google Page Rank of 1 to 3!!!

And Fire Crotch Rocket which started out with no Google Page Rank when I took over, now has a Google Page Rank of 2!!!
Lola's Diner's Google Page rank is:
Fire Crotch Rocket's Google page rank is:
Alas, Lola's Victory Garden is too new to have a Google Page Rank.
©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Friday, April 17, 2009

Elbo Room Bar In Peoria, IL NOT Gay Friendly

Peoria Gays React To Unwelcome Sign. I should hope so. What is wrong with people? Is our money not good enough? Isn't it 2009? Isn't the economy in the toilet and shouldn't you be happy to have any paying customers? So what if a girl put her hand on another girl's knee? I've seen much more provocative groping in straight bars for cryin' out loud!

The city says the sign violates state law because "You can't give notice to the effect that certain protected groups are not welcome". Well, kudos to the city to make the right call on the sign.

I'm not close to Peoria, but if I were, I'd be participating in the protests. I think the bar owner needs to do a major mea culpa and do some positive things for the gay community in Peoria. He needs to embrace the gay following of his establishment or ultimately face reduced patronage and possible closure.
©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

TGIF - VIrtual Girls Night Out

Time For A Party Game!

Librarian Alter Ego
If your first name begins with letters A - E, your first name would be: Bubbles. Follow the chart to see what your Librarian's Alter Ego name is.
First Name=
A - E: Bubbles
F - J: Cookie
K - O: Pepper
P - T: Honey
U - Z: Pebbles
Last Name=
A - E: Featherbottom
F - J: Ivanabee-Queen
K - O: Rhea-Listik
P - T: Anitacocktail
U - Z: Mona-Lott

Lola's librarian name is Pepper Featherbottom! Anastasia's librarian name is Bubbles Featherbottom. OK now, let's see your Librarian's Alter Ego.

Time For Sharing!
Did you know that Campbell's wants to help you grow your own soup? They do. Go visit to find out how to receive a free packet of tomato seeds and to find out more about their drive to donate 22.5 million seeds to FFA chapters across America. So cool!
Thanks for stopping by for VGNO! If you like what you see, please consider becoming a Follower.
Hope you have a great Earth Day!
©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Piracy Suddenly Increasing...Really???

The above statistical chart is from Modern Day Piracy Statistics. Please click on the link to view the more readable original. I also encourage you to read the full text, it's not that long.

If you listen to the news media, they would have you believe that this phenomenon of pirates attacking ships is something new and that it is caused by our current economic problems. This chart was last updated November 28, 2001. That means that the increase shown in this chart started long before our economic problems.

Do any of you bloggers recall hearing about piracy on the increase in the late 1990's to 2001? I don't, but then I'm sure there were a lot of other things going on in the media at the time that perhaps drew our attention away.

That brings me to the perpetual conspiracy theorist in me...if they are showing us all of this piracy in the media now, what is it that they aren't showing us?


©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

April 15 - Did you File or Protest?

After Melissa Etheridge's announcement after the passing of Prop 8, many are wondering Will Melissa Etheridge File? I haven't heard much since her announcement in November. No mention of it on her wife, Tammy Lynn's blog. Melissa Etheridge's California protest is one of many going on around the country today. Her's is in response to Prop 8, the others are anti-tax tea parties across the country. Thousands Rally With Tea Parties On Tax Day.

While I think it is admirable of Melissa Etheridge, if she indeed protests by not filing, but it is not practical for the average person to protest in that manner. If you've ever filed your taxes late, you know what I mean. The penalties are costly. A couple of years ago I filed late, without an extension. It's an expensive mistake I don't think I'll be making any time soon.

I filed mine and Anastasia's taxes last week. That's early for us. I usually have to run hers to the post office on April 15 along with my extension. Tonight I get to relax in my living room and watch my son play Destroy All Humans! on Xbox. (Wait a minute, is that a good thing?)

So, did you file or did you protest? Do you think Melissa Etheridge will file her taxes? Do you think she will file an extension and make it appear that she is protesting?

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Colorado Governor Signs Designated Beneficiary Agreement Act

There's been a lot of headway lately in gaining some of the civil rights gays and lesbians have been excluded from. Vermont and Iowa about a week ago. According to The Advocate, on Thursday, Colorado Governor Bill Ritter signed Colorado House Bill 1260, the Designated Beneficiary Agreement Act, "which allows unmarried adult couples -- including same-sex partners -- some of the legal rights afforded to married couples; the legislation delivers expanded rights in areas including inheritance matters, medical decisions, and hospital visitation."

This isn't gay marriage, or civil unions, but it is a step towards equal rights. A baby step perhaps, but it is a step in the right direction

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Friday, April 10, 2009

TGIF - VIrtual Girls Night Out

What Easter candy do you just have to have?
Reeses eggs!

Thanks for stopping by for VGNO!
If you like what you see, please consider becoming a Follower.
Hope you have a great Easter!

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Matzo Man

For anyone not familiar, Passover began at sundown Wednesday, April 8th and ends Thursday, April 16th. From - All About Passover:
"After 410 years of slavery in Egypt, Moses told Pharaoh that he must "Let My People Go." Each time Pharaoh refused to release the Israelites, God brought another plague upon the Egyptians. The tenth and final plague was the death of firstborn children. In executing this plague, God passed through the land of Egypt, but "passed over" Jewish homes. Thus, the holiday is called Passover. The Israelites were then released from bondage. But the Israelites only truly became free when, 50 days after the Exodus, they accepted the Torah from God at Mount Sinai. Thus, the Jewish nation was born. Every Passover, we are commanded to tell the Passover story."
During Passover, leavened food products are prohibited. That means no bread, pasta, cakes, cookies, pancakes, crackers. Matzo is eaten in place of bread and is used in many passover recipes. Eggs are used a lot in cake products. Eggs are typically separated, the whites are whipped and folded in to the other ingredients and provide a substitute for things like baking powder and baking soda which are leavening agents.

So, how do I know all this? My ex-husband was Jewish. We never kept kosher, but I did learn to cook many Jewish foods and I continue to do so because my children enjoy them.

Why am I telling you all this? I wanted an excuse to show you this Matzo Man video. Enjoy!

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Sunday, April 5, 2009

"The Farm" Bought The Farm Already?

The L Word spinoff, "The Farm" has apparently bought the farm, been snuffed, dead in the water. According to Showtime Won't Buy "The Farm", Showtime will not be continuing production of the show. Laurie Metcalfe, Famke Janssen, Melissa Leo were cast in guest roles in the pilot.

Why is Showtime ditching "The Farm"? It was supposed to be grittier than other female prison dramas (helloooo Bad Girls). We all remember those scenes with Bette and the carpenter and Helena and her cellmate and were looking forward to whatever Chaiken was going to do this the whole female prison drama concept. Come on Showtime! What gives?

I was so looking forward to seeing Laurie Metcalfe playing another kind of crazy. Maybe even a crazy lesbian? Ok, crazy straight woman is ok too. I've really enjoyed Laurie Metcalfe's past roles.

What on earth is left out there for us lesbians to watch now? Please don't let it be those horrible storylines on All My Children and Grey's Anatomy. They just don't 'represent'.

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Friday, April 3, 2009

Same Sex Couples In Iowa Can Marry!


Lambda will soon make available a fact sheet with basic information about getting married in Iowa. Check Lambda's website periodically for more information.

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Attempts At Book Banning Are Alive and Well In West Bend, WI

I’ve been following Lori Hahn’s @ A World Of Progress posts about book censorship in West Bend, WI. I encourage you to go there to see her complete post here. You can read more about it here

The woman on the book ban bandwagon is Ginny Maziarka of West Bend, WI. She "has made it her mission in life to deny other citizens access to books she considers pornographic, restrict websites, and insist on the purchase of 'balanced' materials with touting her own personal viewpoint—this apparently primarily affecting the 'Out of the Closet section of the library."

Read about the Ms. Miziarka's complaint West Bend Parents for Free Speech - The Opposition Side. Apparently Ms. Miziarka wants to go so far as to password protect the 'Out of the Closet' section on the library's website. If gay, lesbian, transgendered, bi-sexual and questioning youth cannot find out about these clearly NOT pornographic books at the public library, where are they going to go? Do we need to lose any more of our youth to suicide because they feel they are so different and so alone that they need to end their lives?

A website has been created to counter Ms. Miziarka’s efforts: West Bend Parents for Free Speech. I encourage you to visit that site and post your support of their efforts for free speech.

Ms. Miziarka filed a complaint with the library board and later withdrew it. She is now collecting signatures for a petition.

Ms. Miziarka published the home addresses of each of the library board members. I’m not going to do that here. I am however posting the library’s address so that you can direct your mail to their place of work, as is appropriate. The board members are: Ald. Nick Dobberstein; Kathryn Engelbrecht, President; Tom Fitz, Vice-President; Patti Geidel, Treasurer; Mary Reilly-Kliss; Mary Jane Burdge, School Dist. Rep.; Barbara Deters, Secretary; John R. Aynesworth; James Pouros.
West Bend Community Library
630 Poplar St
West Bend, WI 53095
I’m hoping that everyone that reads mine and Lori’s posts will spread the word, post about it on your blog to inform your readers. Take the time to voice your objection to this attack on free speech. Post on West Bend Parents for Free Speech, write the library board members and write Ms. Miziarka. Ms. Miziarka won’t publish opposing views on her blog (another form of censorship). Since Ms. Miziarka published those home addresses, Lori @ A World Of Progress felt it only appropriate to publish Ms. Maziarka’s address on her blog at the end of the post.

©2008-2009 Firecrotch Rocket